Some people call it overwhelmed. I call it stuck. The feeling I’m unable to move ahead or I don’t know how to start. For example, cleaning my house. I look around and see each room cluttered with things that have a place but have been left out. Piles of mail, empty boxes, dog toys, kids toys. I move to a different room. Just as bad. I know! Music is what I need to get going. I command Alexa to put on some rock and roll. An old song comes on. I sing along, remembering all the words. My mind goes back to when this song was popular. Where I was and who I was with. I try to remember the band. I can’t think of the name. I pick up my phone. Hey Google who sang “In the summer time”? I hear, “Mungo Jerry”. That’s right. I should have known. Wait, I notice 3 Facebook notifications. I take a quick peek. Before I know it I’m scrolling. I see who’s out to eat? Who has a new grand baby, promotion, new car and on and on. I glance at the time. An hour has gone by and I haven’t lifted, dusted, washed, swept or put away one thing.

Being stuck and not knowing how or where to start is habit forming.

Unfortunately, we do it in all aspects of our lives. Whether it’s cleaning the house or finding a job. Starting a relationship or ending one. Self care, dieting, budgeting, you name it.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Just do it” by NIKE. To me, not helpful at all or just as helpful as, “Just say no.” If only it was that easy. So, what stops us from just doing it? Can we change? Ironically, I delayed cleaning my house, and decided to learn all there was to know about procrastination.

I learned that there are different reasons for why people procrastinate. Hmm, which one am I?

Fear of failure – “What if I mess up?” (Truthfully, this was my reason for not starting this blog sooner)

Boredom/unpleasantness – I much prefer instant gratification like social media than cleaning.

Avoidance – Our brains’ way of trying to manage uncomfortable emotions. This made me think about me putting off asking for a raise at work. Avoidance was definitely the reason. I knew my job performance was exemplary and I deserved a raise. The thought of asking was way more than uncomfortable though. It was terrifying. To avoid asking, I made excuses like, I make a nice salary already. I shouldn’t be greedy was my internal dialogue. More importantly, WHAT IF HE SAYS, “NO”?

I realized I’d been using all three reasons and added a fourth, FEAR. I knew it was time to take this new information and look inward. That’s where all my answers come to light. A prayer for guidance. “Please God open my heart and mind to Your will.” I used my God Box for self doubt, control, fear and worry to be handled by God.

I realized that my reasons for procrastinating were different with each obstacle. Sometimes it was avoidance. Other times, fear or unpleasantness. Self awareness is so awesome..

I thought of a boss I had many years ago who taught me something very valuable. He said, “Every day, do the things you hate most first and the rest of your day will be easy.” “Thanks God for putting that memory in my head.”

My internal dialogue started. “Will this work? But, what if? STOP! What if nothing! Stop thinking and just try it?”

I realized that avoidance stopped me from cleaning my house. Boredom, unpleasantness, and fear of failure also played a role. I also realized that if I didn’t do it today, it would still need cleaning tomorrow. Other tasks would be added on the “to do” list as well.

“The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step.” Lao Tzu and I decided to start with baby steps. I would tackle one room at a time.

Something happened …. Something strange but good.

With the completion of each cleaned room, I felt a feeling of accomplishment that energized me to keep going. I was tempted to “google” it to see what it was. I didn’t want to break my new found momentum so I decided to keep going. Kitchen, bedrooms, bathrooms, living room, dining room ALL CLEAN. I felt accomplished and proud of myself. I felt energized and determined to remember this feeling the next time I wanted to put something off until “later”.

I had to force myself to take a break. I needed to sit down and relax. This was necessary after all my hard work of tedious cleaning. That’s when I looked up the reason for this new found burst of energy. My AI assistant explained that when you complete a task you have been avoiding, your brain releases dopamine. Dopamine release creates pleasure and reinforces the behavior.

I can’t wait for tomorrow to tackle the tasks I hate again and kick procrastination’s a$$!

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