My tools failed me big time. I was using the only tools I had available. The same tools that were passed down to me and that I had learned to use. But why didn’t they work?

Building something new with the old, useless tools is challenging. It’s like to trying to build a house using only a hammer and a hand full of nails. I put in so much time and energy. I tried many times. Yet, I had the same disappointing outcomes over and over.

It was time to find new, effective tools. New tools to replace my tools of manipulation, control, sarcasm, and punishment. I also needed to replace guilt, shame, bargaining, judging, crying, yelling, ignoring, lies, gossip, and revenge. Was it time to return them? NO! It was time to discard them completely. I needed to replace them with healthier, more practical tools. These tools helped others to succeed at the task of building the SELF I want to be.

A little intimidated at first, OK a lot, I started with slogans. Each time I started to worry, I read through my slogan cards. Whenever I felt the urge to offer advice, I read through my slogan cards. If I started to get angry, I read through my slogan cards.

• Easy Does It!
• One Day At A Time
• Keep It Simple
• This Too Shall Pass
• Let Go And Let God
• “No” Is A Finished Sentence
• How Important Is It?
• Listen and Learn
• Think!
• Gratitude
• Progress not perfection
• Don’t beat yourself up
• Check your motives
• I’ll push my own buttons!
• Keep your mouth shut (added by me)
• Mind Your Business (added by me)

Letting go of baggage that doesn’t serve us anymore. What do I need to get rid of? What do I want to keep?

• Nature: Innate biological factors that a person is born with. Effects your physical, emotional, and intellectual traits. (eye color, height) We can NOT change. We have to keep.
• Nurture: Environmental influences and experiences that we face. (Language, social skills) These external factors shape and change our development. We CAN change or get rid of.

I heard that I can’t change anything or anyone but myself. But I want to! Reciting the Serenity Prayer several times a day pulled me back to my focus on self-awareness and Self Repair. It reminds me to separate what I can control and what I can’t. Why do I try to “fix/change” other people when I have a hard time changing myself?

The wisdom to know the difference

Reciting the “Serenity Prayer” was my “go to” tool because I had no clue on what needed to go. What do I need to keep? It’s hard to let go of my comfortable habits even if they were unhealthy and ruining relationships. (scroll to the bottom of page for the Serenity Prayer)

Talk to God

Using the God box trains your brain to turn to Him in time of need. Before you know it, you’ll know how to “Let go and let God”. (Scroll to the bottom of the page on how to use a God Box)

Who’s pulling the strings?

Control – Ill push my own buttons & pull my own strings. In thinking I control other people, situations and outcomes, I gave up control of myself and a happy life. I had to learn to focus on myself… It didn’t happen overnight but using the new tools works.

Who am I?

Self awareness – Being honest with myself was challenging. As I embarked on this self-repair journey, I had to admit the reflection in the mirror was astonishing. I managed to see how others perceived me. My well-meaning intentions didn’t matter, my behaviors did. I tried to control and “help” others by steering their lives in directions I thought best. This produced the exact opposite effect from what I desired both for me and them. Instead of harmony and happiness, there was tension, resentment, and a profound sense of exhaustion. I don’t want to be that person!!! How do I want to be remembered? And the Daily Bucket List was created! (Bucket List is at the bottom of this page)

It’s all about ME/you

Practicing new tools allowed me to change my view of my world. My view of other people and situations. With self-reflection comes self-awareness and growth. I am the opening act! I’ll push my own buttons! I write my script. I study my lines. I control my narrative. I choreograph my behavior. I enjoy my own applause! Today I will applaud my progress and not strive for perfection. I will embrace change. Do I forget my lines sometimes? Do I remember I’m human? Do I get discouraged and quit? Do I blame someone else for my error? Today I use my slogans as a reminder to let it go. God’s got this. I use my God Box to turn to God for help. I pray for faith. I seek His will not my own. Today I trust I’ll be OK. Today I move on to the next incredible act that God has prepared. If I would only get out of His way.

Slogans, God Box, Serenity Prayer, Daily Bucket List, Prayer, Journaling, are all the tools I need. (Journaling is not in the tool box yet) If you practice them consistently, they will lead you to self-awareness. This is the first step in starting your fantastic journey. But I had to learn how to use them first. The old adage is true! Practice makes perfect. Consistency is key.

With Faith, I’ll be O.K.

I’ll be ok, no matter what. It’s not my responsibility to protect, manage and mold other people’s journeys. It was humbling to finally understand that in the name of “love”, I hurt those around me. I did this by not allowing them the dignity of choosing their own paths and making their own mistakes. I presumed I was the ultimate authority. What an insult to God, not trusting in The Divine Wisdom and Guidance available to each of us. My role isn’t to play God in someone else’ life. Why I thought it would work makes me laugh at myself. I am shamefully aware that “playing God” is a constant struggle for me and teaches me a lesson in humility. I am powerless without God and God’s forgiveness.

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