Do you remember playing Ring Around the Rosie? Kids holding hands and walking around in a circle singing? “Ring around the Rosie. A pocket full of Posies. Ashes, Ashes, we all fall down.“

I remember not understanding why falling down at the end was fun. I played it anyway. I probably giggled along with everyone else and got up and did it again.

If you think of it, it’s somewhat depressing. Everyone walking around. Doing the same thing, over and over. No deviation. No creativity. No thought provoking. With the ultimate goal of falling down.

The most popular myth connected to the origin of the Rhyme is even more depressing. Some say it originated during the Black Death as a morbid description of the plague’s symptoms and consequences. “Rosie” – referring to a rash. “Posies” – carried to ward off the smell of disease. “Ashes” – to cremation. “We all fall down” – symbolizing death.

Yikes! Who in their right mind thought to make a children’s rhyme out of this?

So, I asked myself, “Why did I play the game if I didn’t like it? It was so long ago. I’d be guessing at the answers. I fast forwarded to now. I rephrased the question to the here and now.

I made a mental list of things I do that I don’t really enjoy. Certain tasks at work – Duty and responsibility to my employer. Certain Tasks at home – Duty and responsibility to myself and family. Attend funerals – Obligation and respect to others. Medical appointments – Self care

Ok, so I understood that as a grownup, there are things I must do out of responsibility, obligation and respect. But why did I fake giggle? Am I still fake giggling? I know there’s more to this that I’m not realizing. Prayer time. “Open my eyes Lord.“

SOCIAL MEDIA! Yes that’s it. Social media is my grownup “Ring around the Rosie”. Everyone else is doing it. I am part of a group. It fills time. Likes or comments in agreement are acceptance and validation. I’m connected to others. I have a purpose.

What I didn’t realize is that social media can chip away at self -esteem.

THE COMPARISON TRAP It’s almost instinctive. We see someone’s “perfect” life and subconsciously compare it to our own. The illusion of constant success and happiness that can leave us feeling inadequate. Our own behind the scenes, messy realities of everyday life, suddenly feel less valid, less worthy. – Tool Box – Prayer, Gratitude, Progress not perfection.

THE ILLUSION OF PERFECTION Filters, editing apps and strategic posing. All produce the highly polished version of reality, far removed from the imperfections that make us human. Constant exposure create unrealistic standards and fuel feelings of dissatisfaction with our own appearance. – Tool Box – Self awareness, Gratitude, slogans. Progress not perfection.

THE VALIDATION GAME Likes, comments and followers can trigger a dopamine rush, making us feel validated and accepted. This external validation can become addictive. Our self worth becomes tied to these metrics. This can leave us vulnerable to feelings of anxiety and inadequacy when our posts don’t receive the attention expected. Tool box – Internal validation, Prayer, Daily bucket list, gratitude.

FOMO – Fear of missing out. The constant stream of social events and experiences shared online can trigger a powerful sense of FOMO. Everyone else is having more fun. Everyone else is achieving more, living more exciting lives. This leads to feelings of loneliness and inadequacy. Tool box – slogans, Serenity Prayer – Gratitude, God box.

Luckily, my journey of self reflection, prayer and using my new tools available counter the negative effects of social media. The awareness is key to not falling into the trap. I can limit my time on social media. I can fill my media feed with positivity and authenticity. Actively seek out accounts that inspire, educate, and uplift me.

Focus on my own journey. Use the tool box every day. Throughout the day. Share my experiences on this blog with honesty and inspiration. Learn from others comments on this blog. Be a part of a healing community on this blog. Control my journey of growth and self repair. Control how I spend my time. Look inward for validation and comfort. Build a relationship with my higher power through prayer. Never be lonely. Trust the process. Ask for help. Look for miracles. Applaud my growth. Celebrate my accomplishments. Be patient with myself. Show gratitude, give thanks. There’s so many more healthy things to learn ….

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Do you plan to re-think your social media routine? Please share your experience and any suggestions in the comments below.