I was leaving soon for dinner plans with friends. Hair done, makeup on. One quick peek in the mirror at my favorite outfit. I’ll never forget it. Light green and black striped Palazzo pants. They were soft and flowy. A black tunic top had three frog closures at the neck. This outfit was so pretty, slimming and comfortable. I loved it! Checking the time, I still had a few minutes to polish my nails. I sat on the sofa, polish in hand and turned on the TV.

I was engrossed in watching the story on TV. I was also listening intently. I guess I tilted the nail polish bottle. Polish spilled on my blouse. I was so upset and started to cry.

Thoughts raced through my head. Now I’ll be late. I have to change clothes. My beautiful outfit is ruined. Suddenly, it hit me! My thoughts redirected to the family on TV that lost everything. I was crying over a small inconvenience and a ruined blouse. I thought, Really? What type of person does that? But I changed clothes and left for the restaurant.

Dinner was good. Seeing friends made it better. I had a nice time. In the back of my head was that lingering question, what type of person does that?

On the drive home, I asked myself that question over and over. I wondered, am I selfish? Am I self centered? Do I lack empathy? Cold hearted? I determined that I must be a terrible person.

I prayed to God for forgiveness. I prayed for God to make me feel better about my ruined blouse. As usual, I prayed for my will to be done. But, also as usual, God gave me the awareness I needed. Using my new “tools” daily, I understood the answer.

I need to forgive myself. I need to trust God’s plan for me. I am human. I can feel my pain without guilt or shame. Someone else with hardship or troubles doesn’t and shouldn’t diminish my pain. No matter how big or small.

GRATITUDE, HUMILITY, AND FORGIVENESS

Feeling my pain strengthens my gratitude. Gratitude leads to humility. Humility fosters forgiveness. Forgiveness for myself and others removes the burden of guilt and shame. I can see the silver lining and lessons learned for future pains. After all, life is full of them. LIFE IS ALSO FULL OF SO MUCH HAPPINESS AND JOY. I have so much more compassion for others and myself.

I’ve gotten other pretty outfits since then and have had other pains….. Each one strengthening my gratitude and trust in God’s plan for me.

CHANGE HAPPENS – ONE DAY AT A TIME

Many of us have heard of a bucket list. You know, things you would not necessarily do but contemplate doing before you die. (kick the bucket) Some say, “Skydive”, “Mountain climbing”, “Travel the world”. I, myself, would never even give a thought to any of these suggestions. I have no desire to hasten my demise by falling off a cliff. Nor do I want to have a heart attack when I’m pushed out of a plane. I can’t see anyone lying on their death bed ever uttering the words, “I wish I had gone skydiving.” I also can’t see anyone saying, “I wish I made it to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro on their death bed.”

I can see someone saying, “I wish the parachute had opened”. Or, “Why did I think that would be fun?”

I started to think on when I do “kick the bucket”. I wondered, Will I have regrets? Will people miss me? How will I be remembered? I realized that the answers to these questions mattered to me and I can control them.

Since I don’t know when my dying day will be. I got started right away. Thus, the Daily Bucket List was born. (Check it out in the Tool Box)

Each day I write the list: Before I go to bed tonight I will: 1. 2. 3. Suggestions for Daily Bucket List tasks: or write your own..

• Call a friend
• Try something new
• Smile at a stranger –
• start a task
• finish a task –
• write in a journal
• ask for help
• make a music playlist
• treat yourself to something you like
• help someone
• volunteer at a shelter
• say an extra prayer
• laugh out loud
• exercise
• listen to music
• dance in the kitchen
• give thanks
• talk to God
• watch a sunset/sunrise –
• hug someone – preferable someone you know
• be silent
• say kind words – even to yourself
• Don’t gossip
• get a checkup, at least make an appointment –
• read a book –
• watch a movie –
• Comment on Illpushmyownbuttons.com
• Use your new tools –

Visit Illpushmyownbuttons.com daily

The possibilities are endless. Doing and focusing on three simple things of your choice each day is practicing self care. Which many of us often neglect. Make your self care a habit. With consistent practice, noticeable changes will amaze. My husband came home from work feeling upset. His pen had exploded in his pocket. The “new” me offered comfort. I provided understanding rather than the usual dismissive “It’s only a shirt” answer. I validated his pain. It’s amazing how improved Mental, spiritual and yes, physical health happens. Trust the process. You are worth it!

These changes will lead to a happier, joyful existence while living life on life’s terms. Other’s around you will notice the change in you. Relationships and roles start to shift. Share your new tools. Invite others along for the ride. You are empowered to author the answers to life’s questions. Since living intentionally, I know I will be remembered exactly how I want to be. I know I will be missed by many. I’ll have no regrets.

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Please share any Daily Bucket List suggestions you have tried in the comments below.